Working with someone U don't like

What to Do When You Have to Work with Someone You Don't Like

by Peter Bregman  |  12:00 PM September 12, 2012

This is the reality. Sometimes and somewhere you will face this reality check in every phase of your life. So let's read how to reduce the stress and try to apply it :  

Just think about how you respond differently to someone you like who can't run a meeting (you want to help them) versus someone you don't like (you want to stop working with them, or, if the meeting is really long, kill them).

The typical advice you hear about working with people you don't like is simply to depersonalize the relationship. Just transact whatever business you need to with them and move on. In other words: Grin and bear it.

But I have found that almost impossible to do.The people we don't like drive us crazy and we waste a tremendous amount of time complaining about them, or stressing about a conversation we need to have with them.

And that's not the worst of it. The deeper problem is that if you don't like someone, chances are they know it. Which will prompt them to not like you. And if you think working with someone you don't like is hard, try working with someone who doesn't like you.

 working with people you don't like becomes a lot more interesting. Because getting to know them better, and accepting the parts of them you don't like, is actually getting to know yourself better and accepting the parts of yourself you don't like.

So the way to overcome your dislike of someone else? Overcome your dislike of yourself.

That's where the person you don't like can come in handy. Use him to understand yourself better. Consider why you have a problem with him. What does he do that bothers you so much? Move past his inability to run meetings or write a good email and get to what's really bugging you. What about his personality or behavior sparks annoyance or disgust in you? What do you hate about him?

Then, consider how your answers might be a reflection of you. This is a game and you win by finding that hated behavior in yourself.

Think about times when you feel greedy or selfish or dismissive or downright mean. Can you see it? Can you feel your feelings of both attraction and disgust? Can you admit to yourself that it's not black or white? It's black and white. Can you live with the complexity of your humanness? That's the key to being compassionate with yourself.

And being compassionate with yourself is the key to being compassionate with others. Before you know it, you'll actually begin to like people you never liked before. Maybe you'll even feel like helping them run those meeting more productively.

Enjoy it. I wonder when u face the situation, it will be difficult but let's just try it.

Frustation?????!!!!

In life, we use to want to have or need something that's aren't or cannot be owned. That's include myself. Sometimes, I ask and ponder in my heart.... why I do this (doing phd)...what's the benefit...monetary or knowledge.  The journey is uphill and mounting... I wonder does it really worth it at the end of my life.

Doing this journey, it is cold, demanding, frustration, blockage - u name it - all the numb feeling in the whole world. I become more stupid that I am before. The stumbling rock is blocking my vein in the head. But I have given up  that feeling, its either I let it be and still fighting or I fight and let it be.  Sometimes, there are things that needed to let go, following the course/way of life. If its meant to be, than its meant to be.