Life in Brunei

Today is not a good day...sad..'terkilan'...just because I bring kids to live with me in the hostel, I am being haunted like I did something bad..something really sinful. Too many unjust reason, saying the kids make noise...bla bla bla...as if having kids around..are not good thing.

Some of the reasons are unjustified actually,...making me  hating this country...a so called Islamic country but money is more of the reason. If u have no money, there is no service.

Even if u ask for help as a Muslim...they will not openly helped u though explaining that a help is needed.

Kiamat besar & Kiamat Kecil Datang Tiba-tiba

Kiamat besar & Kiamat Kecil Datang Tiba-tiba

Tired....Emotion of feelings

Salam frenz out there....its October. A lot of things having being undone..programming..new language..to learn and adapted..doing phd is a tiring and very emotional journey. When u r alone...doing the simplest thing..seem very difficult...very far....

Tried hard to juggle my time with the kids and programming using Netlogo. My emotional meter seemed very down...since my arrival in Brunei..having to cope with the slow administration, life..unhelpful situation. I tried to take things one step at time but...it doesn't go that way.


NEED A BREAK...but my SV said need to see him  every day for progress. Can u imagine it? GOD help me..

There is a drum in the heart of heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=robmc3CTGOE

14 Aug 2011

I have finished reading the book written after 41 years of Wan Mokhtar Ahmad services to nation, faith and the country. His "Kisah yang panjang" was light and easy reading but such a memorable and full of inspirations. Its like he was leading readers to the rightful ways in administration (administrating) - in the Islamic ways. Allahuakbar! There are so many inspired advices in this biography.

It does change my perspective in politics. Its not as dirty as what I think but ppl that makes it dirty. Once you are on top, you have to bear in mind that your responsibilities are for the countrymen, nation and faith. But when your tenure end, do not begrudge and blame others.

Reda atas sesuatu perkara yg terjadi kpd kita mmg agak sukar utk dilakukan, ttp mungkin dengan melupakannya & meneruskan kehidupan dgn memanjatkan harapan kepadaNYA blh membuat kita redha.

Excerpt from the book " Mrk bekerja berpandu keapda GO (General Orders atau FO - Financial Orders) dan tidak mahu melanggar sedikit pun arahan tersebut walaupun utk kebaikan. Bagi saya, GO dan FO ini merupakan panduan kerja sahaja supaya para petugas tidak tersasul dlm menjalankan tugas. Akal yg dikurniakan ALLAH itu wajarlah digunakan dng betul dlm usaha melicinkan tugas kita disamping tidak menyusahkan org lain."

Muzzakirah - kisah yg panjang

Petikan dari buku 'Muzzakirah" oleh Wan Mokthar Ahmad ms 90 - "Sebagai org baharu, tentu saya akan dikelilingi oleh mereka yang lama dan berpengalaman serba-serbi dlm politik ng. Tentulah harapan Tun Razak yg begitu tinggi kepd saya untuk menunaikan amanah ini sukar untuk dilaksanakan. Saya umpamakan perlantikan itu bagai memandu sebuah kereta terpakai yg menggunakan kelajuan antara 150 - 200 batu sejam, saya bimbang akan berlaku kemalangan"

Sememangnya apabila kita bernama manusia yg sukar utk tidak melakukan kesilapan, kita bimbang untuk memikul amanah..yg sudah tentu memerlukan sebuah pengorbanan. Tidak ada perjalanan yg tidak ada kerikil, batu yg bulat dan tajam, lopak yg dlm dan cetek. Begitulah kehidupan.

Nothing

This excerpt was taken from a book written by Barry Wain - Mahathir .....will get the title later. Just? a bit about this editor - been living in Asia for 37 years (actually residing in Singapore - wonder if still in Asia) and hailed from Australia. Not that I'm pro exPM but there are things or written words about him feel like 'smacking' the author but there are the laws....;-) 

But a quote from the book -"Deputy Prime Minister (Almarhum) Ghafar Baba quoted a Malay proverb with an implicit warning to the monarchy: A just king is adulated, but an unjust one is to be shunned". That is being true...everybody not just the royalties..should be an honest and justing person. 

I am not a fan of this writer...he wrotes as if he knows malay better than the malay. Living in a colonial island with numbers of malay who couldn't voice their opinions and live in a so called develop country ; dare to write things based on others written report.. where were they when the malays fighting communist during the insurgency? Those foreigners out there, you may have come from a more develop country but you have no right to criticize other  country's administration. ALLAH give u guidance in your research...but yet you are unbelievers...only believe in yourself.

What have been doing for the past days

Mufti or Mahathir - A book. Another reading and excerpt taken from "Mufti Lawan Mahathir" by Ahmad Lutfi Othman. " Org Islam tidak pernah menentang suatu teknologi tinggi ttp tidaklah sampai meruntuhkan asas-asas syariat atau menentang dan melanggari syariat. Kita tidak menentang teknologi, ttp kalau hukumnya haram, tetap kita kata hukumnya haram.....Allah meminta kita menghormati dan mendoakan org yg meninggal dunia dng doa yg baik2 malah Nabi mengharamkan kita mengumpat mereka." . Interview with Mufti Perak - Dato' Haji Harussani Zakaria.

Notes: Not because  I am a perakian I recited & agreed with his statement. But it shows, Islam is simple + there's a thin line separating what is halal or haram.

Mengisi masa lapang - Montana Sky - July 30, 2011

Recollection of what i was doing which is not what i am suppose to do. For the past 8 months I've an indulgence for "readings", to keep my head "check + balance". Reading something that's purely academic, put my head in spins.

Dogpiled

Nora Roberts Collection at www.noraroberts.com. A little bit about her, she is the #1 bestseller author, according to who/what journal or ratings I don't know.
But one thing that I can summarize is that her writing is simple, easy to grasp, funny but a little sexy. I love reading her 2 novels (this is the second reading of her books). I am a bit far behind of her lists of book.  Montana Sky is about the story of the daughters of a rancher, ups and downs of her life, the bitching of sisters...oops the word I used ...sorry for that....but hey...sometimes that's life written in book on paper.

Just try reading one of her books.

Stress

Heart...why I am feeling there's no way..out. Feelings of not able to do the best...Feeling of very sad...over unfinished business. Ya ALLAH...tenangnya hati..bila mendengar seruan MU. Bantulah hambamu...dlm pencarian ilmu...utk di kongsi.. Sucikan hati ku...berikanlah...hidayah..please help me in finding the way..a path..for my families.
      Tahajjudku sentiasa pdMU.

Mendabik Dada Atau Berkongsi Rasa | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

Mendabik Dada Atau Berkongsi Rasa | iluvislam.com + discover the beauty of islam

For peringatan

6 Musibah Dari Perbuatan Zina

Posted on August 1, 2010 by aku

Rasulullah telah mengingatkan: ” Hai kaum muslimin, jauhilah perbuatan zina. Sebab di dalamnya terdapat enam (6) perkara, yang tiga diberikan di dunia dan tiga lainnya diberikan di akhirat. Tiga perkara yang diberikan di dunia:-

1. Hilangnya kewibawaan dari wajahnya.
2. Berkurangnya barakah umur.
3. Dilanda kefakiran yang terus menerus.

Sedangkan tiga (3) perkara yang diberikan di akhirat: Mendapat kemurkaan Allah, dihisab dengan berat, dan mendapat seksa neraka. “

(HR Baihaqi dari Anas)

To be or not to be

Lately have been feeling a bit melancholy...is it due to the age factor. Or GOD is teaching me to look at life in a different way.... Feeling of joyous, happy and tranquility...are the best feelings that a person can ever have....Alhamdulillah..during my path...ALLAH...has guided and gave me and my siblings much more than what we deserved.

Reading has been and always be one of my hobbies. Currently, I am reading books on our previous PM - Tun Dr M. His current book - A Doctor in the House A memoirs of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad borrowed from www.ubd.edu.bn gave me an insights of his journey of life.  A fav.quote from the book pg 23 - There are always lessons to be learnt, if only we have the wisdom to see them.

WEEKEND

Sometimes, I feel that I cannot control my anger...especially to those whom are nearer to me. I don't know why I can get easily angered on some simple mistakes. GOD !!! Pleasse..help me on managing my anger....sometimes I hate myself for acting such a stupid behaviour....

During my younger days, I don't feel that anger as much as when I am getting older and matured. It seemed like ,,,,the older I am getting the grumpier I became.

Allah...selamatkanlah hambamu ini dari sifat marah kerana sesungguhnya marah itu ...makin hampir dng neraka.

Hectic

Cold and gloomy but romantic.

My husband is going back home this coming Monday. Need to send him to the airport. I will miss him. My kids will miss him the most. Argh holiday is coming to an end. A lot of works still haven't done yet. But enjoyed the days in Labuan and Miri.

A LONG TIME

Life is like the river with rocks in between the rushing water

It has been quite some time for me to update this blog. A lot have been happening in my life lately.... Getting myself loans, journeying on Phd -(permanent head damage hahaha...), preparation to move to new place and children schooling, dealing with ppl in remote places such as here.

Now is school holidays. A lot of things to be done. On my lists are:

• programming
• programiing
• programming
• waiting for my husband ;-)
• holiday for the kids - P. Labuan
• GRS allowance